“Just be yourself.”
This is perhaps the vaguest advice to give anyone trying to fit in anywhere.
Why?
Because most people don’t know who they are.
They sure have this idea of who they think they are, but it’s not grounded on any intrinsic value or personal belief and principles. It is rather inherited from societal norms and widely accepted biases.
It is a flawed, misconstrued self-image, one that has been the root cause of many unfulfilled and awkward existence, that makes people feel shunned from social gatherings. Which then inevitably leads to depression and all sorts of mental and mood disrders.
And maybe we keep repeating this same mistake of blindly believing that people want us to be ourselves. And why not? There are at least so many weird folks out there doing their thing and getting the love of the digital community…
Except, we fail to realise that even that weird person who is loeved is just wearing a mask. Their real self is not even that cool–and weird! And we go on to compare ourselves with the public self people put on display, and believe we really can be ourselves without consequences.
But no, people don’t want to see who you really are, because they just don’t care enough to want to meet you. They rather want something fun, something entertaining and ridiculously pleasing to them. They want the social media.
If your real self has any semblance of reality–I mean, the real, flawed, awkward and goofy reality, the one in which you makes mistakes and trip on your own shoelaces occasionally–then, sorry you’re not welcome among the cool kids.
And all the problem is from misunderstanding.
“Be Yourself” is a plea that echoes the need for vulnerability, not because you’ll be accepted, but because you won’t have to keep trying to remember what mask you had on when you met someone, or what day of the week a mask is meant for– even when people don’t generally find it pleasant.
It is meant for peace of mind. It is meant for personal identity. Only by finding yourself first–based on core values that give you meaning–can you then attempt to be yourself, damning the consequences.
Because in embracing your true self, you open yourself up to a world full of savages, knowing you are antifragile, and that perhaps someone out there needs to see who you really are in order to find their own way to becoming who they really are, too.
