Posted in Addiction, Fiction

A Case Of A Bad Break

Immediately he said those words, he realised things would never be the same with them, ever again. The look in her eyes said it all. Her wide eyes and dropped jaws gave a pretty accurate image of what he imagined went on in her head.

“You don’t mean that,” she said.

“I couldn’t be more serious,” he told her. The cat was out of the bag now, no point hiding from the fact.

“But… How… I thought we were…”

“Listen, Janet, this isn’t easy for me either. I swear, I wish I loved you, I really wish that… I just don’t.”

He felt his racing heart start to slow down as the shakiness in his voice slowly disappeared. He wiped his damp palms on his trouser and took her hands in his.

“You deserve so much better than I can give you. Unless we both want to live a lie where I pretend to care enough for you and you pretend you don’t mind that I don’t really care enough. But what sort of lives would those be?”

She gently removed her hands from his and took two steps back gingerly. Her mouth was closed now and the wide eyes had given way to pain and confusion.

“John, we picked a date for our wedding. You, you proposed to me. You said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.” her emphases on ‘you’ stung him like a hornet, making him visibly wince.
She let out a burst of dry laughter that sounded like a broken record. He felt the storm coming.
“And you think your nice little speech explains all that away? Are you insane?”

“Look, I know how this looks.”

“You do, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. I also know how you feel. But it’s the truth. When I proposed I thought I felt something, I am not so sure now.”

He had expected this to be hard, but he never factored her reaction into the mix. He had expected some tears and a lot of begging from her but that was not what he got. She raised her brows and smiled at the same time and at that moment he was more scared of her than the bad news the doctor had given him.
“This would kill you before your wedding.” Doctor Phillips had said. He was wrong. He didn’t know Janet.

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