Your life has up to this point been good. Not good in the sense that nothing bad ever happens, but that you can always fall back on the reassuring love of family and friends to help you get through the tough times.
You know for sure that no matter how hard things get, you would not be unable to deal with it. You remember that Celtic legend that everyone is allowed to pick the difficulties they will encounter on earth before they are born. So there was no way anyone would select something that would destroy them.
And the Bible verse that says no man is tempted beyond what they can bear, but with every challenge comes a way to get through it.
These stories reassure you beyond the surface. And days when it seems the night would never end, you can wait. And waiting isn’t so tough when you are assured you’ll come out at the order end.
But lately, things have changed. Not like they were worse than ever, or you’ve lost faith in your ability to overcome these things. No. In fact, it’s the opposite; these days you feel like life is too easy.
You have this overwhelming feeling that you’re stuck. You’re stuck fighting the same battles, running around in circles. Like an adventure badly designed.
Instead of making progress, you feel like you’re lost in a loop of repeating the same lessons, winning but never making progress.
As far as you could tell, you’ve hit a point of stagnancy.
…In Circles
The first time you noticed it, you were sitting alone in your room, writing in your journal, describing a sensation. Then you remembered you’d described that exact sensation before. While sitting and writing in your journal. But that was probably just a coincidence.
So you finished up and went out. But now you couldn’t ignore the familiarity all around you. The stranger you’d seen before. The errand you’ve run before. The conversations you’d have before. Everything. Old and new intertwined.
You don’t think it’s mystical or magical or spiritual. No, you know it means only one thing. Your life has become so predictable that every new experience has you going around in circles.
And that is the one thing you never want for yourself–an ordinary, boring repetitive life.
You’ll leave, start that journey, get out of this rut you’ve found yourself in. You’ll design a new challenge if that’s what it’ll take. Because while the thought of déjà vu sounds fun, it’s a reflection of something wrong for you. And you never want it near you.
