Posted in Scattered thoughts, Thought Dump

I love me enough but…

Maybe a good reason to leave a bad relationship would have been the absence of emotion, maybe it would have sufficed to believe that that was a good enough indication that something more was needed…

But when emotions run deep on one side, it is easy to mistake it as a two-way access street. Like the “I love me enough for the both of us” line from Drake’s From Time. And it is fine for a while. Because maybe what you needed for a while wasn’t really a reciprocation of feelings, but their mere presence. Maybe, indeed, you did love yourself enough and you truly believed that some of it would bounce off of them back to you and you would be fine.

And it was fine for a while. You loved you and you loved them and it was enough for you…

Until you realise it goes deeper than that, that you didn’t just need their presence, you needed their feelings too. Their being alive. Their breath, essence and understanding, to complement everything you already love about yourself. Not because without them you’re incomplete, but because with them, you’re whole.

While being complete and being whole are synonymous, they can be two different things. Being complete means all your parts and pieces are present. But being whole? That runs deeper because it means all your parts and pieces are fitted perfectly.

The broken pieces of a jar can be gathered together till it’s complete. But until they are fitted and held together, it isn’t whole.

And maybe that’s just what you need from them. To hold you together. Just as much as you are willing to hold them together. Because in reality, we all have broken pieces of us lying about. And we all need someone to fit those pieces in the right places. But not just anyone; it has to be the right person.

And that kind of person is not one you can be with just because you love yourself enough while they give you nothing. They have to need you just as much as you need them. And if for now you haven’t found them, I dare say you’re by far better on your own.

So till then pick your head up, love, and hold yourself together.

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