I think I’ve grown more comfortable with having less than having more.
It’s probably a state of mind or a flawed mentality, but I don’t care very much.
Having more is a burden. My wants are much. Once my needs are satisfied, the wants start screaming for attention and sometimes the noise can be deafening and swooning, so that you just go with the flow to silence one want after the other until you are left with probably nothing. Continue reading “Less”
Something is wrong with me.
I don’t feel I have enough friends in my life. Yes, there is quite a number of people and acquaintances, but it doesn’t feel like friendship to me. But then, the concept of friendship has always been a little vague to me. We know we need to make “good friends”. And while “good friends” is subjective, it is still very confusing. Who qualifies as a good friend? I have my values and other people have theirs. Okay I’m supposed to link up with people who share the same values as I.
Something I usually look forward to when sick is the time I finally get pricked by an injection.
Compared to some people, it took till I was almost out of my teenage age to start taking injection. A simple or complex combination of pills seemed to always do the trick and I never got so sick as to need the needles.
I try my best not to judge others, but in the end I’m just a human, especially since they make it very easy. The attention hoggers who make every bit of step they make a news worthy of our attention. Oh, it’s the food they are eating for the first time, a friend they’ve not seen in forever, a cup of tea we might like (common, it’s your damn cup of tea).
In the event that things don’t turn out the way we plan for it to, all hell has the potential to go loose. It is instinctual to want order in our lives. But one of the most dominant things in our existence is the ever presence of chaos, unpredictability, the unknown–in the weather, in the response and reaction of others around us, in the future. We are surrounded by uncertainties and it is normal for us to want to exert control and authority over the things closest to us, over the people around us. It is only human of us to want to be in charge of something, because then, we don’t feel so helpless and useless.
Maybe having a routine and sticking to it isn’t a bad thing. Maybe spontaneity isn’t always as prized as it is rumoured to be. Routine actually gets shit done. It is discipline, even when you don’t feel like doing what you need to do. It is being responsible for your life and actions.
The problem of one hit wonder is that it is like smoke. It is gone before you realise.
Why? Because it entails gaining the spotlight before you learn how to work the lights. It is gaining massive recognition before you have attained mastery.
